


Arms

by leSerpentia



Series: Theepic  adventures of Regn and Terra [3]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Apprentice needs a hug, Death, F/M, Hanging, I need a hug, Julian needs a hug, Mourning, Song Fic (Kinda), Super Angst, There will be a happy ending, and will be Happy I swear, like this is way sadder than I intended, spoilers for book XII, the last chapter will be way more song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-29 21:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15082019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leSerpentia/pseuds/leSerpentia
Summary: Julian's curse will heal him. He will survive this. He will survive this!Right?orI read XII. I needed to do something





	1. The Hanging Man

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing!
> 
> FYI  
> This story features 2 apprentices.
> 
> 1\. Regn, my friends MC. Asra's apprentice and GF  
> 2\. Terra, my MC, magical blacksmith, loved Julian to a fault. Is Regn's BFF

**1\. The Hanging Man**

  
_I never want to leave you_  
_but I can’t make you bleed if I’m alone_

Massive, plated arms held Terra back from him.

Julian had seen her in the middle of the crowd, had searched for her amongst the sea of bloodthirsty revellers. Town Square was near to overflowing with people, and he had spied Pasha and Mazelinka to his left as he and Nadia had ascended the steps. But after he put on his show and said he rousing speech, he had needed to see her.

His impossible Terra was chewing on her bottom lip; a nervous habit Julian liked to think he had passed on to her. She was hugging herself, her posture stiff and her grip tight, as though she would shatter apart at any second. They gazed at each other, Julian trying desperately to look reassuring. She had said she believed he would survive this as Julian had let himself be led away by the palace guards. He could see her repeating it to herself now, her lips moving slightly as a slow drumbeat started up behind him.

Julian took a deep breath, releasing it slowly out his nose. He didn’t break eye contact with Terra, but he heard boards creaking under the added weight of the executioner. He saw the countess from the corner of his eye, and wishes she would take them; Pasha, Mazelinka, all of them, away before it all came to ahead. But the women in his life had made up their own minds, and they wouldn’t be budging. Pasha had said she didn’t want him to face this alone, but Julian wondered if they would be better off if he did.

 _I’m not afraid of dying_. He had said this to Asra and Regn, when they had stopped by this morning to question him. And it was still true. Death was not something he feared, nor his own pain. But Pasha’s pain, Terra’s pain, that was something he didn’t know if he could face. But as he stared into those amber eyes, he couldn’t imagine how he could do this without her there.

The tempo of the drums began to pick up, and despite himself, Julian had felt his own heartbeat quicken. The rope was lowered around his throat, the heavy cord scratchy and course against his skin. It was a snug fit; something he and Terra would have messed around with in the bedroom on a long, warm night. His palms had begun to tremble, and he had clenched them into fists to calm his own nerves.

He was not afraid of dying, but for the briefest of moments, he wanted desperately to live. Not so he could pass on his cure, not so he could stop the plague. But for the life he could have with her.

Julian wasn’t a magician, but he would have sworn the visions he saw stole his breath away.

A flash of Terra, grinning over her shoulder at him as they bolted through the streets of Vesuvia, guards on their heels as they made their escape. A flash of the two of them back to back, fighting of enemy pirates with a sword in his hand and fireballs at her fists. Terra leaning back against him chest, the two of them watching brightly coloured fireworks explode from their vantage on a rooftop. Terra’s smile lit up his world far more than any exploding light show.

Hundred of moments ran through his head; the life he could have had flashing before his eyes. Pasha had been there, even Regn and her magician. But everywhere, everytime, there had been Terra. He had seen everything their lives could have been, and the longing for that would kill him as surely as the drop. And he could see that want, the desperate, consuming want, reflected back at him in Terra’s amber eyes.

And unlike him, Terra had nothing holding her in place.

She moved through the crowd like a soldier cutting through enemy lines. She ducked under arms, swerved around bodies and simply shoved past anyone to slow to move out of her way. For a moment, it filled him with joy, the kind of golden glow that started in your chest and suffused your whole body. His Terra was coming. He’d touch her again.

Then a pair of burly arms caught her and the reality of their situation crashed back down on him. She wasn’t rescuing him, she was only damning herself. Without intending to, Julian took a step forward, as though to stop her. The rope rubbed against his throat and he froze in place. He could only watch as Terra was held back by two palace guards, but her eyes remained locked on him.

Her pupils were blown, black almost encompassing the brilliant amber he loved so much. She was shouting something, but all he could hear was the executioners drumbeat. It filled his head, and his world slowed, narrowed to a pinpoint. Just Terra, fighting to get to him, the pounding of drums and the polished mass of the guards arms that held her back from him.

Terra reached out to him, fingers grasping at the air. Tears filled those fire-light eyes and spilled over. The metal armour under her hands warped as she tried to push her way through. She called his name, screamed it like a plea to the gods.

Julian wasn’t afraid to die.

He wasn’t afraid of pain.

But he was scared that this was the last time he’d ever see her.

The trapdoor fell open, and Julian fell.


	2. Fading heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terra finds Julian's body after... well after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still own nothing!

 

**2\. Fading Heat**

_I hope that you catch me_   
_‘cause I’m already falling_

He was too still.

Julian was never still.

Even when he slept, he tossed and turned. The man was notorious for flailing about in the bed, slowly rotating to steal all of the blankets until Terra was left shivering on the very edge of the bed. It was like, even when resting, his body was too vivid, to alive, to truly relax. He never did just one thing; his wicked fast brain was always trying to process ten things at once. It was why he was always stumbling into trouble, and why he got so flustered when she through him for a loop. Julian Devorak was always moving; this brilliant, awkward, psycho of a man who Terra was completely addicted to.

Which is why it felt so so wrong, seeing Julian Devorak laying still as stone on the wooden observation table.

They were under the colliseum, in the labs where the doctors had stretched the limits of science, trying to find a cure for the Red Plague. Terra had been here once before, and it was abhorrent to her that Julian be back in this place. Especially in his current state.

Valdemar stood just off to the side, prepping a series of large jars with a near maniacal grin on their face. Terra felt the flame skitter down her arms, heat pooling in her palms until the leather of her wraps began to smoke. As if altered by the smell, Valdemar sniffed and turned to meet Terra’s gaze over Julian’s body.

‘Ah, Lady Blacksmith? Welcome back. Come to see the magic of science at –’

‘Get out.’ Terra interrupted. Her voice dripped poison.

Undeterred, Valdemar raised their eyebrow and continued collecting tools for their autopsy. ‘I’m sorry, this is my lab and –’

‘Get the fuck out or I’ll melt the flesh from your bones. No amount of science will save you.’ Terra hissed, and the fire in the far corner blazed higher; turning clear-blue as tongues of flame leapt out to catch at Valdemar’s robes.

They screeched and slapped at the flames, before running from the lab spitting curses at Terra. The fire-mage paid them no mind, and simply bolted to Julian’s body.

The man had always been pale, but the grey shade of his skin was cold and sickly. The purple shadows that framed his eyes looked more like bruises against his cheeks. Terra could just see the slight wrongness of the shape of his neck, the angry red skin around his throat showing exactly where rope had cut in before the quick stop had snapped his neck.

A dark part of her brain told Terra is was good that it was quick, for who knew how long Julian could have hung their; thrashing as his mark tried to repair the unending damage. But she shook her head clear of that thought. No, no he had to be healed soon. He had to wake up soon.

But the mark at his neck, the soft glow that usually signified that his curse was healing him, lay flat and dormant in the hollow of his throat, and panic began to boil up in Terra’s mouth. 

As gently as she could manage, Terra reached out and realligned his neck. Underneath her fingers there was a disgusting shift of bone and muscle that shouldn’t have moved the way it did. Once it looked right, she told herself to let go, to move away so the heat from her touch wouldn’t burn his fragile skin and slow the healing process. But her fingers had gone cold and she wouldn’t bear to stop touching him. 

Terra let her fingers trail over Julian. One hand slid down to rest atop his still heart; whilst the other cupped his head, thumb skimming across the sculpted cheekbones she found so handsome. They had removed his eyepatch, and that seemed the most invasive act of all. Leaning down, Terra pressed her her forehead against Julian’s, his brow cold and clammy against hers. 

‘Wake up Doc. You had your dramatic moment. Now it’s time to come back.’ Terra’s voice was a hoarse whisper. It cracked when she used her nickname for him, the remaining words sounded like a hiccup to her own ears. 

A drop of water landed on his closed eyelind and Julian didn’t even flinch. The tear shattered on impact, the tiny droplets catching in his long eyelashes like stars. Terra moved to brush the tears away, her only thought being that she shouldn’t be crying on him, it might ruin his clothes. 

‘Damn it Doc, you’ve got me crying now? I swear you’re the only person who can do this to me.’ Terra sniffed as she pressed a light kiss to his wet cheek. Not a blip of a response. Terra’s breath caught.

She scrunched her eyes closed until she saw rainbows in the black behind her eyelids. Her head hurt, her hand hurt from the white-knuckle grip she had on his coat. But that was nothing, nothing compared to the pain in her chest. Her heart felt cold and heavy in her chest, like it wasn’t beating right. The shivers trailed down her body until her fingertips were tingly and numb. It felt like heartbreak.

‘Come back to me Ilya. Please.’ 

‘Ter?’ A voice came from the stairwell.

Terra whirled, arms spread wide as though to protect Julian’s body from the intruders. She didn’t relax as Regn and Asra appeared in the doorway. The white haired magician was looking about the chamber in horrible recognition; but Terra’s best friend kept her eyes on her. She looked so... concerned. Sympathy and pity filled Regn’s bright green eyes and Terra wanted to rip them from her face.

‘Where were you?’ she shouted, her voice an accusatory shriek.

Regn moved further into the room, hands out as though calming a skittish horse. ‘I’m sorry Ter, we went looking for the Count’s private dining r—’ 

‘You were looking for a dining room!’ Terra screeched. ‘You were off sluething when he... when Ilya was—’ the words caught in her throat, almost suffocating her.

‘Time was all messed up. Asra needed me to –’ Regn’s voice shook now, and she lifted a hand as though to touch Terra. The fire-mage jerked away taking a step further back from her friend.

There was a ringing in her ears that set Terra’s teeth on edge. Her grip on the wooden table and turned scalding, and the smell of woodsmoke filled the lab. Regn looked down at Terra’s hands in concern and tried again to reach out for her friend.

‘Asra? Asra! He needed you? What about me! What about Ilya?’ Terra spat at her friend. She turned her rage on the magician as he moved behind Regn defensively. ‘You’re supposed to be so powerful. So wise! You shouldn’t have let him do this?’ 

Terra glared at her friend and her mentor; hate, rage and pain rattling in her chest and pulling angry, vile things from her mouth.

‘You should have tried harder to enter the Hanged Man’s realm. You should have gone yourself! Fix him now! Make him wake up!’

Asra’s face held no shock or hostility; just a reflection of Terra’s own hurt as he looked between the furious fire-mage and the body on the table.

‘I’m sorry.’ He whispered.

‘Sorry! Don’t be sorry, Heal Him!’ Terra sounded more like she was begging now.

Asra just shook his head. ‘I can’t risk the mark. It’s his best chance.’

‘Then what use are either of you!’ she snapped back.

Terra spun back to Julian’s body, still unmoving, and her breath caught in her throat. He gagged and hiccup around it, and it felt like her whole body shook. She gently, so gently, took his hand hers and entwined their fingers. His didn’t grip her back.

‘Get out. Both of you.’ 

‘Ter...’ Regn began quietly.

‘Please.’ It was a whisper, and Terra wasn’t sure if she was speaking to her friends at her back on the man laying before her.

But she heard the two water magicians moving away, and felt the emptiness of the lab surround her again like a lead weight across her shoulders. Standing suddenly seemed like so much work. 

So Terra boosted herself up carefully onto the table beside Julian, and lay down beside him. She tucked her head under his chin, the way he liked for her to rest so he could hold her tight. His coat still smelled the same as she buried her face in it, her arm once again bunching in the fabric. 

Terra tried to even out her breathing, as she whispered to Julian in the gloom of the lab. And as she begged, the fire and rage in her chest slowly chilled. The cool ice of loss slowly seeped up from Julian’s body and into hers, until every inch of her was cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sobs*


	3. Catch me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promised a happy ending. I hope it delivers

**3\. Catch me**

  
_I’ve never let a Love get so close_  
_You put your arms around me and I’m home_

 

Terra shoved a final shirt into her pack and hefted it onto her shoulder. Her movements were stiff and repetitive, as though she was moving by route. She couldn't have told you which of her clothes she had stuffed into the pack, or where she was headed. All Terra knew was she had to get out of this gods-forsaken city. This city had strung up the best person she had ever known, and she couldn't stand to be in it a moment longer.

She began to storm out of her room, but a soft blue glow caught her attention. The deadly starstrand flower pulsed a vivid blue from where she had encased it in a smooth glass sphere. It hadn't withered since the night Julian had slid it behind her ear, and the sight of it sent a stabbing ache from her heart throughout her body.

He should be here now.

The city was ablaze with the Masquerade, all a tumble with colour and life.

He'd have loved every minute of it.

The glass sphere was cool under her fingertips and Terra was caught up with an intense urge to smash it. Instead, she scooped up the sphere and slid it into her coat pocket.

‘You're leaving for a while if your taking the flower-rock with you.’

She had known Regn would show up, to stop her or comfort her, she didn't know. But she knew Regn wouldn’t let her leave the city without saying goodbye. The water-mage leaned against the doorframe, decked out to the nines for the Masquerade. She looked like a water sprite, sparkling in the moonlight. And Terra couldn’t bring herself to be upset about it.  
Regn threw her a small smile. ‘Sneaking out under the cover of night. Julian would be proud.’

Terra didn’t flinch. She wouldn’t flinch.

‘You can’t talk me out of it.’ She said.

Regn shook her head. ‘Wouldn’t even try Ter. But don’t go tonight. Come to the party, drink all of the courtiers wine, trash some of the statues, give Portia’s team something really memorable to clean up tomorrow.’

The water-mage had her puppy-dog eyes on, and the embers in Terra’s chest sparked for just a moment. Terra drew in a deep breath, clenching her fist around the glass orb in her pocket.

Part of her really didn’t want to be around people. The Masquerade would be loud and jovial and full of people all but celebrating Julian’s death. She didn’t want to chance seeing the courtiers, Nadia, or god-forbid Portia. What would she say? How could she say anything? Sorry I wasn’t smart enough, strong enough... Sorry I wasn’t enough to save your brother. Do you want some punch? No, that was utterly mad. She knew if Valdemar was unfortunate enough to stumble upon her, they would be nothing but a pile of ash within minutes. She’d end up arrested herself.

The risk, the danger of it all sent little tingles down Terra’s fingers. But isn’t that just the kind of thing Ilya would do? Crash the party celebrating his lovers death, just to rub it in everyone’s face. He’s be prancing on the tables, loudly reminding any guest who approached that not all of Vesuvia had made it to the celebration.

It was garish. It was rude. It was in poor taste.

‘Fine.’ Terra said as she pushed past her friend and made her way outside. ‘ But just for the wine.’

***

She hadn’t been at the palace long, but Terra had managed to work her way through most of an expensive bottle of imported spirits. Nadia was indulging her, letting the fire-mage sprawl out on the balcony floor above the grand hall. Which was honestly really nice of the Countess because Terra was not being careful with the ornate furniture or what she was sure were priceless antiques. She had her boots propped up on a velvet-covered chair, and the condensation from her liquor bottle was leaving rings on the carved wooden end table. Nadia just smiled indulgently and turned back to her conversation with Asra and Regn.

At least the music was ok. Terra had always had a soft spot for music. Julian had played the guitar for her one evening, sitting shirtless on the end of the messed up bed. He’s sung her a sad song about the moon falling in love with the ocean, and had offered to take her to a distant island where the moon and the sea met once a year in a cave. Terra had laughed at the time, but she’d do anything to go on that adventure now.

The quick jig that had been bouncing of the walls ended with a flourish from the violin, and the revellers in the ballroom below applauded. Terra raised her bottle in a mock salute to the band before taking a deep gulp. The liqueur burned on the way down, but did nothing to warm her up.

A soft melody began to waft through the room; slow piano notes gently building the tempo before other instruments chimed in. Terra breathed in deeply through her nose as Nadia, Regn and Asra moved from their seats to peer down at the performance below. A sweet voice joined the other instruments, female and strong.

  _I never thought_  
 _that you would be the one_  
 _to hold my heart._  
 _You came around_  
 _and you knocked me off the ground_  
 _from the start_

_‘_ I didn’t know Portia could sing.’ Regn’s voice seemed louder than necessary to be heard over the music, and Terra rolled her eyes.

‘Yes,’ Nadia answered. ‘Musical talent seems to be a family trait.’

Terra’s grip tightened on the neck of the bottle. She clenched her eyes shut, trying to will back tears at the sting of the countess’ words. Portia was singing... she had tougher skin than Terra, that was for sure.

_You put your arms around me_   
_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_   
_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

It was a nice song. Romantic and welcoming in a way that made Terra’s heart ache. The rest of the instruments chimed in, and she could hear the strong strumming of a guitar beginning to play along. Gasps rose up from the audience below, chatter growing louder as the song continued.

_How many times will you_   
_let me change_   
_my mind and turn around_   
_I can't decide_   
_if I'll let you save my life_   
_or if I'll drown_

‘Terra, you need to see this.’ Regn called over her shoulder.

‘What?’ Terra answered from the floor. She had no intention of moving. ‘Did they light the stage on fire? Or did they make butterflies appear from nothing?’

_I hope that you see right through my walls_   
_I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling_   
_I'll never let a love get so close_   
_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

‘Really Magician Terra. I think it will truly surprise you.’ Nadia added.

Terra huffed and did not budge.

Two brightly coloured legs appeared to her side, and Terra followed the silken pattern up to meet Asra’s quiet purple gaze. He had the tiniest smile curling his lip, and the fluffy white of his hair made the magician look like some ethereal goddess in the glow of lamplight. He simply held out a hand and nodded his head toward the others.

‘Come on Terra! You’re missing it.’ Terra could practically hear Regn bouncing all the balls of her feet.

With a groan, Terra took Asra’s hand and let herself be led to the balcony railing. She was mostly steady on her feet, and only had the slightest head rush from the drink. Asra guided her between himself and Regn, who was grinning like a madwoman and practically vibrating with excitement. The music kicked up a notch again, and Terra felt it start to seep passed the chill of the last day and settle into her bones.

_The world is coming_   
_down on me_   
_And I can't find a reason to be loved_   
_I never wanna leave you_   
_But I can't_   
_make you bleed if I'm alone_   
_You put your arms around me_   
_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

Something pulled at Terra’s attention. It seemed to catch her by the throat and pull her gaze down onto the stage below. And like a stuck match, her whole world was alight.

_I hope that you see right through my walls_   
_I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling_

He was playing the guitar on stage, that wicked grin spreading across his face as his one visible eye locked with hers. Portia stood beside him, laughter dancing in her own gaze as she performed with her brother.

Her brother!

Terra blinked. Then shook her head again and blinked again. But he was still there. Julian was still standing below her, clever fingers dancing across the strings. She saw his lips move along with his sister’s as she sang, and her hand flew to her mouth to silence a sob. 

_I'll never let a love get so close_   
_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

‘Am I dreaming?’ Terra didn’t know if she said the words out loud, but she felt Regn press a supportive hand against her back. The touch was like a chime ringing, and the last dregs of cold fell away as heat suffused her body again.

‘Ilya has always had a flare for the dramatic.’ Asra smirked.

The magician was right. Julian was like that. He had always loved the big reveal, the drama and theatrics of a surprise. Terra looked at each of her friends in turn, saw their reassuring smiles and quick glances between the two. And then, like magnets, Terra’s gaze was dragged back to Julian as he appeared back from the dead, to sing to her in front of all of Vesuvia.

And just like that, she ran. She caught a quick glimpse of Julian pulling the guitar strap over his head and making his own way into the crowd, before she disappeared into the stairwell and leaped down two, three stairs at a time to reach the ballroom floor.

_I tried my best_   
_to never_   
_let you in  
_ _to see the truth_

The stairway opened up into an hall crammed with people in glittering masks. Terra skidded into the room and began shoving her way toward to stage, not paying the least bit of attention to those who she barrelled past. It was like an instinct, a driving force like a drumbeat in her pulse. And his name just kept echoing in her head. 

Julian Julian Julian!

_And I've never opened up_   
_I've never truly loved 'till you put your arms around me_   
_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

Revellers had started to part for her and Terra came to a stop metres from the stage. The dance floor had been vacated enough that there was empty space between the stage and her, and she scanned the room around her for any sign of his auburn hair, that flashing grin or his dark coat.

On stage, Portia and the band were still performing, but the handmaiden’s attention was clearly fixed on Terra as the fire-mage searched the crowd. She couldn’t see him, and ice began to crawl up her throat. Had she imagined him? Had the drink and the music and the night simply brought to life her greatest hope, only for it to fade when she tried to reach it. She waited a beat, and then another.

Arms snuck around her waist and spun Terra around in one blinding move.

And then Julian had her caught up in his arms, and he simply scooped Terra up to spin her around in quick, joyous circles. Terra screamed in both pain and pure happiness as she wrapped herself fully around the doctor, the two of them clinging to the other in the middle of the decadent ballroom.

_I hope that you see right through my walls_   
_I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling_   
_I'll never let a love get so close_   
_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

Terra thought she heard cheering somewhere in the room, could still hear the music surrounding them both. But her entire vision was taken up by him, his stunning face full of colour and life. The world became a fuzzy blur as Julian pressed their foreheads together, his fingers digging into Terra’s hip as he kept her pressed as close to his own body as possible.

His warm, pulsing, moving body. He was moving. He was breathing. He was laughing.

‘Sorry I’m a bit late to the party my dear.’ He murmered against her lips.

Julian slowly lowered Terra to the ground as the music began to come to a close, but Terra’s heart was still singing in her chest. Her gaze searched his features, from his crooked nose to the tips of his ears. Julian reached up to brush a tear away with his thumb, and she saw the cheer turn to concern at her silence.

‘My love—’ he began.

‘You came back.’ The words escaped from her lips as a bare whisper.

‘I couldn’t leave you if I tried. I am a moth to your flame Terra my love. I’ll always find my way back to you.’ Julian vowed.

Terra threw her arms around his shoulders and clung to him. To his living, breathing body and his tender words. Her fingers ached from how tightly she clutched his shoulders, and Julian enveloped her in a hug just as tight. As though the two were both desperate to keep the other close.

‘You’re a complete idiot.’ Terra mumbled into his neck.

She felt his laugh rumble through her body and it was like coming home after a lifetime adrift.

‘I love you too my dear.’

_You put your arms around me_   
_and I’m home_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes? No? 
> 
> I just need Ilya to be happy!  
> Kudos are appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> I Swear this WILL have a HAPPY ENDING!  
> Because damn it Ilya deserves to be happy goddamn it!
> 
> Ahh I have feelings!  
> *sobs*
> 
> Kudos and comments are deeply appreciated. We will get through the wait for the next chapter together.


End file.
